The following is with apologies to Clement Moore. And probably to Rangers bench coach Jackie Moore as well…
Twas the days before Christmas and all through the park,
Rangers fans were singing, the heralds they harked.
The souvenirs were waving and worn with care
In hopes that Yu Darvish soon would be there.
We die-hards were nestled all snug in our seats,
With visions of Championships and even repeats.
And Jon Daniels in his suit and Nolan in his cap,
Had just settled their brains for an off-season nap.
When out in the park there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from our seats to see what was the matter.
Away to the field we looked in a flash,
And saw Elvis stealing second just to show he was fast.
The moon on the crest of the center field wall
Gave the lustre of moments from the glorious fall.
When what to our wondering eyes came through the gate,
But a caravan of players heading right for home plate.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
We knew in a moment Elvis was playing St. Nick.
More rapid than Kinsler his team-mates they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name!
“Now Hambone! Now Nellie! Now Beltre and Holland!
On, Michael! On, Napoli, Lewis and Moreland!”
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now clear the fences and score the four runners all!”
And then, in a twinkling we saw in the dugout,
The high fives, the claws and antlers we’d heard ’bout.
As we turned our attention to one corner we found,
The Rangers manager, Ron Washington, dancing ’round.
He was dressed like a Ranger, from his head to his foot,
And the way he was dancing, well it was a hoot!
A bundle of energy,the crowd we all knowed,
If the Rangers won it all, he’d surely explode!
His eyes how they twinkled! his arms how they waved!
When the Rangers did good, you could see how he raved!
His mouth constantly chewed on sunflower seeds,
And ate even more when his team had the lead!
He was always in motion, a fan much like us,
And we couldn’t help but love him, even when he cussed!
Though we oftentimes disagreed with his moves,
They oftentimes won, so our feelings were soothed.
He spoke to the team and they all went to work,
And they learned how to win, like the Mavericks and Dirk.
And thanks to his efforts, the team with a burst,
Soon rose through the teams of the AL West to first!
And I heard him exclaim ‘ere they drove out of sight,
“Neftali Feliz Navidad to all and to all a good night!”
And with that, Happy Christmas to you and yours. I’ll be back after the holidays.